Thursday, April 3, 2008
Can't sleep
I want to sleep already but I can't. I mean, oh what the heck... Been wanting to check out my special someone's friendster account or facebook or multiply... But I know seeing my special someone happy with another person is not good for me. Oh life...
Borderline Personality
My sister has it. I don't. Or at least I have not yet been diagnosed with it. Oh hell, I hope not.
Apparently she's been seeing a psychiatrist since she was in college. But we (as in my parents and I) had knowledge of it just recently. It is indeed a family crisis. It's very difficult to handle the situation. See, I am a medical student, but still, I have no idea how to deal with this actual problem.
So she had an "episode" of uncontrollable temper and narrowmindedness earlier this evening. She fought with my mom. My mom got really pissed, I can tell coz she was driving and she almost hit the motorcycle in front of us and she said she didn't really care if she hit it. I didn't speak one word throughout the whole thing. Basically because I didn't know what to say and honestly I was trying to save myself from getting trapped in that unfriendly realm. But I can't escape it, I know. The air in our house right now is too hostile. My mom skipped dinner, and my sister and I ate in silence. Right now, I prefer to be alone. Actually I want to leave and go to a far away place. Somewhere peaceful where I can cry on my own and worry about my own personal problems. I really am having a difficult time understanding the whole situation. But I'm trying my best to.
I have my own personal dilemmas and I don't want to worry about anything more. Everything's a blur. I just wish I could be genuinely happy and problem-free even for just one day. It'll mean a lot to me.
It just crossed my mind... I miss my special someone. Darn. Only in my dreams and wildest imagination will that special someone miss me too. How painful.
xoxo
Apparently she's been seeing a psychiatrist since she was in college. But we (as in my parents and I) had knowledge of it just recently. It is indeed a family crisis. It's very difficult to handle the situation. See, I am a medical student, but still, I have no idea how to deal with this actual problem.
So she had an "episode" of uncontrollable temper and narrowmindedness earlier this evening. She fought with my mom. My mom got really pissed, I can tell coz she was driving and she almost hit the motorcycle in front of us and she said she didn't really care if she hit it. I didn't speak one word throughout the whole thing. Basically because I didn't know what to say and honestly I was trying to save myself from getting trapped in that unfriendly realm. But I can't escape it, I know. The air in our house right now is too hostile. My mom skipped dinner, and my sister and I ate in silence. Right now, I prefer to be alone. Actually I want to leave and go to a far away place. Somewhere peaceful where I can cry on my own and worry about my own personal problems. I really am having a difficult time understanding the whole situation. But I'm trying my best to.
I have my own personal dilemmas and I don't want to worry about anything more. Everything's a blur. I just wish I could be genuinely happy and problem-free even for just one day. It'll mean a lot to me.
It just crossed my mind... I miss my special someone. Darn. Only in my dreams and wildest imagination will that special someone miss me too. How painful.
xoxo
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Just a thought
It just occurred to me, in about 15 days, I'm gonna start my 4th year as a medical student and yes, I'm going to be a medical clerk! From everything I've heard, it's gonna be physically and mentally and even emotionally demanding. I have this feeling that I'm not yet prepared. Or maybe I am, it's just that I don't want it to happen yet. Because once clerkship starts, it's already the start of the unending cycle of sleepless nights that a medical student would go through just to have a career as a doctor. This is where it starts.
I know that no matter how I try and pray, time's never gonna stop. I can't prevent this from taking place. I have no control over it. It's just that I feel like I have a lot of things to do still, a lot of things to accomplish before the "beginning" of a new chapter for me. Oh well... I guess no one can really escape reality. What the heck.
Xoxo
I know that no matter how I try and pray, time's never gonna stop. I can't prevent this from taking place. I have no control over it. It's just that I feel like I have a lot of things to do still, a lot of things to accomplish before the "beginning" of a new chapter for me. Oh well... I guess no one can really escape reality. What the heck.
Xoxo
newbie
I am not really an amateur when it comes to blogging. But this is my first time in this blog site... Hmmm... I have a previous account on another site, but I've forgotten my password. Haha! Anyway, I came across this site and since so much has happened to me that are worth writing and sharing in blogs, I created this account... That's all...
Well right now I have no idea what to write in the task I've accepted as a freelance writer on the net. The task is to write a 2-3 page essay on how I am able to solve a particular problem I've encountered. Hmmm... That's kinda hard for me to put into writing, since I'm not really a writer. I mean, I just signed-up for that thing as a past time. Not something I'm intending to do for a long time. Oh well... My deadline is on the 6th...
Till then. xoxo
Well right now I have no idea what to write in the task I've accepted as a freelance writer on the net. The task is to write a 2-3 page essay on how I am able to solve a particular problem I've encountered. Hmmm... That's kinda hard for me to put into writing, since I'm not really a writer. I mean, I just signed-up for that thing as a past time. Not something I'm intending to do for a long time. Oh well... My deadline is on the 6th...
Till then. xoxo
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