Borderline Personality

My sister has it. I don't. Or at least I have not yet been diagnosed with it. Oh hell, I hope not.

Apparently she's been seeing a psychiatrist since she was in college. But we (as in my parents and I) had knowledge of it just recently. It is indeed a family crisis. It's very difficult to handle the situation. See, I am a medical student, but still, I have no idea how to deal with this actual problem.

So she had an "episode" of uncontrollable temper and narrowmindedness earlier this evening. She fought with my mom. My mom got really pissed, I can tell coz she was driving and she almost hit the motorcycle in front of us and she said she didn't really care if she hit it. I didn't speak one word throughout the whole thing. Basically because I didn't know what to say and honestly I was trying to save myself from getting trapped in that unfriendly realm. But I can't escape it, I know. The air in our house right now is too hostile. My mom skipped dinner, and my sister and I ate in silence. Right now, I prefer to be alone. Actually I want to leave and go to a far away place. Somewhere peaceful where I can cry on my own and worry about my own personal problems. I really am having a difficult time understanding the whole situation. But I'm trying my best to.

I have my own personal dilemmas and I don't want to worry about anything more. Everything's a blur. I just wish I could be genuinely happy and problem-free even for just one day. It'll mean a lot to me.

It just crossed my mind... I miss my special someone. Darn. Only in my dreams and wildest imagination will that special someone miss me too. How painful.

xoxo